you
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I don't know why I'm doing this, but I don't know why I'm doing this.
I don't know why I'm doing this.
I don't know why.
Good evening, Barlow.
Welcome, Mr. Manfred.
Nice to see you again.
Well, it's good to be back.
I left my things down at the landing.
You'll fetch them and put them up in my old room?
Yes, sir.
How is my dear brother?
At death's door, sir.
I doubted it'll last the night.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
That's too bad. Tell him I'm here.
Yes, sir.
Such bad taste.
Stop staring, you fool.
I'm not dead yet.
Mr. Manfred's arrived, sir.
I told him your condition.
I suppose he's giggling in anticipation
in his sickening way.
Barlow?
How would you like to be a wealthy man?
I'd have no objection, sir.
You have all the qualifications for inherited wealth,
spineless,
slavish to superiors,
arrogant to inferiors.
My will states the value I have placed on your years of faithful service.
Two cents.
Bring Manfred in.
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
How are you feeling, Cyrus? Are you in pain?
Yes. And it's grown more acute since you entered the room.
We can only hope you're going to a better place.
Personally, I've never believed all those ugly stories about retribution in the next world.
For your sake, I certainly hope that they're not true.
You'll find out soon enough for yourself.
I've just tried to follow an older brother's example.
But this is no time to reminisce. There are family matters to settle.
My will is over there, behind the picture.
The safe.
I had the safe designed with you in mind, bagler-proof.
That's cruel, Cyrus.
The will has some surprises.
I had a terrible time deciding which relative should get my money.
I hate you all so much, but you are my family.
So, one of you gets everything.
And naturally, as your only brother, you named me.
Let's just say I left it all to the smartest.
I'm sorry, Mr. Manfred. He just died laughing.
If you'll excuse me, sir, I'll notify the attorney, Mr. Warfield,
who'll want to summon the rest of the family.
Yes, of course.
Manfred Carstairs, indicted 17 times.
17 times?
Never convicted of anything.
Wait till you see the rest of the family.
This is Claudette. She's been married six times.
Divorced twice, widowed four times.
Four times? How'd they die?
Probably overdoses of Claudette.
And there is Aunt Tess. She lives in England.
She was convicted of black marketing during the war.
She's under suspicion of high crimes and misdemeanors.
And here is Andrew Warfield, the Costair's attorney.
The legal profession's been trying to disbar him for years.
Who's that?
That's the Costair's only niece, Tracy.
She's agreed to let you impersonate her.
The Costair's family hasn't seen her
since she ran away to join the circus 18 years ago.
I can't say as I blame her with that family she's gone.
Um, what am I after?
An envelope marked top secret.
In it is a formula for a high-speed alloy used in our jet fighters.
Old Cyrus developed it and was about to sell it to us for $20 million when he died.
One of the members of the Costair's family has offered it for sale,
and foreign powers are offering millions.
We think the will will tell us where the formula is.
Now, that's why I'm sending you to Costair's manor on Lafitte Island.
Costair's manor? Lafitte Island?
Oscar, it sounds like an old horror movie.
Igor's not gonna meet me at the door, is he?
I don't know if Igor will be there, Jamie,
but I wouldn't take my eyes off this guy.
You
Let's go.
Let's go!
I've had enough of that.
I'm going to go home.
I'll be going.
Goodbye.
I'm going to go.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Hello?
BANG
Who are you I'm Tracy. Oh
Yes, of course
You're Marcia's little girl
I'm uncle Manfred. How are you my dear? Not very well at the moment. Thank you
Man scared me half to death on my way from the landing really and outside in front here
I have a very large pot fell and barely missed me. Well, I'm not surprised. It's terrible the way
Cyrus neglected the place. It's
Literally falling down at the oddest times
Yes, well, I'm delighted to see you again my dear, but you've changed
Almost too much, especially your eyes
There's none of the castears. Look about them strange
Well, it has been 18 years uncle Manfred and in speaking of strange
Yes, of course. Well, I I was just testing the safe. It's very well built
Yes, we can all feel very safe with the will locked up in it
Well, let me show you up to your mother's old room
My aunt's here yet. Oh, no. No, you're the first to arrive but don't harbor foolish hopes
About any part of the family fortune. Oh
So the will has been read already. Oh, no, no
But he left everything to the smartest among us
Everybody in the family knows who that is
I
never realized Cyrus admired me so much. Imagine him leaving me all his money.
You? Yes, well, he said the smartest, didn't he? Well, I'm not saying that, that
Maffrey and Tessie are actually great darlings. But they're no whiz kids either.
And these aren't booby prizes, darlings. A wool field. Bring the bags.
Come in, Snow White. This is Dopey. Jamie, how's it going? Well, pretty bad. There's
already been an attempt on my life. Listen, if it's that dangerous, you better
get out of there. How? The water around this island is filled with snakes and
alligators, and this house is filling up with car stairs. Wait a minute, Oscar.
Oh, get out, Warfield.
He was only a glancing blow.
Manfred and Cyrus got me several times when we were children.
Oh!
Warfield and Claudette just got the same reception I did.
Look, Oscar, I-I think that the, uh, formula is in Cyrus' safe.
I'm gonna go after it now.
All right, but be careful.
And watch out for those car-stayers.
Yes, think. By tonight, all of this will be mine.
How sweet of dear Cyrus to leave everything to me.
If he'd said, uh, the most beautiful,
I would have known he meant Claudette.
She's really quite pretty in a tawdry sort of way.
But it took more than the gaudy to sway dear Cyrus, uh...
What's going on?
Stop trying to scare me.
Grrr.
Very well.
Two can play at that game.
Ah!
Grrr.
That'll teach you.
Grrr.
Click, click, click, click, click, click.
Just what are you doing, girl?
She was just trying to cheat us.
Just like you were trying to do.
How about you, man, Fred?
Those marks on that medal weren't made by any woodpeckers.
Don't move, anybody! What's going on here?
Who's she?
That's our niece, Tracy.
Aunt Tess and Claudette.
Would you believe when I first saw her,
I didn't think that she was one of us.
Not much family resemblance.
None at all.
She doesn't look like us, but...
She certainly acts like us.
A car stares through and through.
Welcome aboard.
Sweet darling, come let me take you to your room.
My goodness, the circus certainly has an effect on your clothing.
Still working in the sideshow?
Come in, Snow White.
Hello, Dopey.
I'm not Dopey anymore. I'm Grumpy.
And I haven't got the formula.
However, I have been accepted as a car steers.
My information tells me that the formula hasn't been delivered yet,
so it still must be in the house.
Well, they're gonna have the will reading right after dinner,
so I should know something soon.
Good. I'll move in when you tell me.
You got it.
Hmmm, hmmmm, hmmm, hmmmm, hmmm, hmmmm...
Hmm, hmm, huh, huh...
Huh, ready...
Uh-huh.
50 left.
Uh-huh.
Right 13.
Yes.
Nothing but this?
Yeah, that's for you.
Well, he put his will on a TV cassette.
He wanted to tell us what was in it personally.
Why, there's no television set in this house?
Oh, yes, there is, Miss Claudette.
Why was it kept locked?
He didn't want the servants wasting time watching it.
Oh, but you had the key.
Now, your easy days are over, Barlow.
Turn it on, huh?
All right, watch and weep.
My dear family.
Cyrus, Cyrus.
Hello, hello, wherever you are.
Doesn't he look wonderful?
All things considered, a most handsome man.
Manfred, Cass, Claudette.
You aren't even mentioned, darling.
You and Marsha's little girl, what's her name, are my family.
And so you all have a crack at my fortune.
Back to the races, darling.
We tried to give you all equal chances to prove who is the smartest.
Hidden somewhere here in this house is a safe deposit box,
containing various valuable papers and the stock certificates to all my companies.
I'm making it winner take all to the one who finds it.
Forgive me, Cyrus. For a moment I actually thought well of you.
So a scavenger hunt will have to pick the fittest to replace me as head of the family.
Hopefully it will be the best, the smartest, luckiest.
Or perhaps, if I know my dear family, just the survivor.
Oh, Warfield is allowed in the hunt, too,
because he has proven over so many years that he can't do anything right anyway.
Now, here are all the clues that you will need to find the box.
The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things,
of shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings
and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings
and why the fun when time has run and stopped its tired fling.
All right, scavengers?
Start your hunt.
Just the kind of childish thing I'd expect of him, a really flawed mind.
I don't understand. What does it mean?
Well, it's from Lewis Carroll, but I'm afraid Uncle Cyrus wrote the last line himself.
Well, the only thing we can do is go along with his stupid game.
The time has come, the walrus said.
Ships? Shoes? Fun when time has stopped.
Cabbage is boiling hot.
Pigs with wings?
Shall we be civilized for once and agree on some ground rules?
Like what?
We don't want to be stumbling over each other in the dark.
Let's start the hunt at, say, 6 a.m.
That's a wonderful idea.
Very fair. Fine.
Okay by me.
Oh
It sounds like everybody decided to get up a little early.
Somebody got my radio.
I'm sorry.
boys, pigs boiling hot in the kitchen.
Shoes? Shoes?
Shoes.
Ceiling wax.
A letter.
Cyrus always was a rake.
But he did take wings from here.
The walrus said to talk of many things.
Talk. Talk. Talk.
Could it mean the television set?
I don't know.
Peek-a-boo!
Mr. Warfield?
Well, so much for kings.
this is the only ship in the house and it's mine well I just came in to see if
you were all right we'll close the door
you
Thanks for watching!
Ah!
Oh!
There's something wrong, Miss.
Well, Aunt Claudette just disappeared.
Oh, she's been doing that for years, Miss.
The first time was when she married the Polish count.
Where is Uncle Manfred?
I think he's in the attic.
The attic?
Yes, he remembered the fine wood carvings
in the ceiling of the master bedroom
and asked me if we'd ever wax them.
I told him, well, sometimes we touch them up.
Then he just shouted,
ceiling wax!
And ran up into the attic.
Will that be all, Miss?
Thank you.
Stop!
Don't move, girly.
What have you done with Claudette and Warfield?
What are you talking about?
I saw everything.
I left him in the drawing room.
He disappeared after you had been there.
The same thing happened to Claudette.
You're young, but you're all casters.
Did you realize that I had solved the puzzle
and you came back to get me, too?
What?
Look at it. It hasn't rung for years.
And why the fun when time has run and stopped its tired fling?
I know the secrets in it somewhere.
Turn around.
What are you going to do?
Just turn around!
Well, can I please just tell you why I came here?
Tess?
You're next, my dear.
The formula has got to be in this crazy house somewhere.
Now, what have we got?
And whether pigs have wings,
and why the fun when time has run to...
Thanks for watching!
Hey, hey!
Hey, see?
What are you doing?
There is a man behind that wall.
How unusual.
Well, not for this house, it isn't.
And by process of elimination, it must be Barlow.
Barlow? Oh, don't be ridiculous.
That lazy oaf wouldn't be able to compete with the Carsties.
You can't be in two places at one time,
and everyone else has disappeared.
Is it possible you could be right?
Tracy, I'm not one to share,
but there's a first time for everything.
For safety's sake, I think we'd better cooperate.
What's on your mind?
What would you want if we found that box together?
There is an envelope.
That's probably just among his personal papers.
You may have all the rest.
What's so valuable about that envelope?
I am a philatelist.
A philatel what?
I'm a stamp collector.
Oh.
Do we have a deal?
Right then, let's pool our knowledge.
Hell, I took the attic apart. There's nothing up there.
Okay. Claudette found the only ship in the house,
so I think that's a red herring,
and Morphil found the only thing that looks like a king.
Now, I myself went through the kitchens,
and there are no cabbages.
Wait, maybe Tess was right.
Could it have anything to do with that clock?
Oh, no. No, Cyrus would never hide it
in his obvious place as that.
What time is it?
It's almost eight.
It's eight o'clock.
And kings on the chessboard.
Maybe that's the kind of king he was talking about.
Could be.
What is that? Is it supposed to be light coming down through a window or something?
Looks like it.
Okay, so we've got eight o'clock and light.
Eight o'clock, light coming through a window makes a chessboard on the floor.
What position is that, King?
Uh, Queen three.
Okay, I don't know anything about chess. Can you show me where... Stand on it, please?
Sure.
Is there anything down below there?
The old family burial crypt. There's a stairway leading down to it in the back hall.
This is about where Queens Three would be.
We should be right under it.
Without the sun,
time has stopped for it, too.
Help me with this.
Now I'll get a crowbar.
I got it.
Well, how did you...
And here is Uncle Cyrus' box.
Well, look at that.
Well, we found it. Isn't that right, partner?
I guess so.
Silly girl.
I was talking to my real partner.
The butler did it?
Well, actually, we did it together.
I made an arrangement with Barlow before Cyrus was even cold.
He caught Tess in Warfield, and I got poor Claudette.
And you.
What are you doing?
Did you think I'd settle for more scraps from the Carstass table?
The old man wanted to sell the formula to the government,
but he got plenty of other offers before he died.
So, I... I made a deal for it.
They're waiting to hear from me now.
Barlow, remember your place.
Move.
Move!
Sir?
Down to the end of the corridor.
Follow you, horrid man! Get us out of here!
I'll pay you back for this, man, Fred!
I am suing everybody for every dime in the estate!
Inside.
I suppose you realize this means you're discharged.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Ah.
This is Barlow, sir. I have the goods.
Splendid. We'll be there shortly, as agreed.
There's something else you must do for me, too.
Yes, what is it?
Dispose of several persons.
My friend, for that formula we'll do anything you want.
We'll be there shortly.
It's all your fault, man, Fred!
Completely and totally!
Triple damages! I am naming everyone as accessories!
What do you mean, it's my fault?
Don't go blaming me for the servant problem!
You know, this looks awfully old. It might break easily.
Oh, don't be stupid. Solid.
Cyrus and I found them when we were kids.
They're the change Lafitte held his prisoners with.
We used to have lots of fun tying up the governess with them.
Well, I still think a link or two might have rusted through.
I'm glad you're on my side.
Your side?
I just might need you, but can't I trust you?
You have my word of honor.
Ha-ha-ha!
That intense sense would get me a die.
Don't be cruel, Tracy.
There's a lot of Cyrus in you.
Help me find Barlow.
Sure.
Hey!
Where's the envelope?
All right, so you've got the gun. I'll search.
No, you don't.
Well, then, you give me the gun and you search.
Now.
Checkmate.
Well, that must be his contact.
Look, your car stairs may be rotten,
but these people are really killers.
You treacherous scum.
How much did they offer you to betray me?
Ten million dollars.
Ten million dollars? Really?
You did say $10 million.
Come on, Fred. Come on.
Now, these people that are coming here, they're very dangerous.
Do you think that they know what he looks like?
Could they possibly have met?
Oh, I can't see how.
Cyrus didn't give him a day off in 30 years.
Okay. You and I are gonna take a chance.
Come on. Get up.
Come on.
Ten million dollars.
Tracy, I'm sure you're not going to leave us here any longer.
Don't you owe us some loyalty?
Loyalty?
You were going to put me away?
Well, if you're going to hold grudges.
Some people are like that, always dwelling on the past.
I didn't do anything!
Don't you try and make me feel guilty, any of you, because it's not going to work.
All right, all right, I will, but you had better do exactly what I tell you.
Don't you trust us?
Oh, about as far as I can throw you.
No, I don't trust you that far.
Good day.
You're Barlow?
Yes, of course.
Where's the money?
It's deposited in the Swiss bank,
as per our agreement.
You'll get the number of the account
when we get the formula.
Very good.
Where are the people you want taken care of?
They're waiting for you.
Thank you.
Call me a sensory fool, but I just can't bear to watch.
Excuse you, ma'am.
Nice work, Manfred. I guess I was wrong about you, after all.
Where'd he go?
He went all there.
Why should I be surprised?
I don't know.
If you enjoyed this video, please like, comment, and subscribe!
I'll be right back.
Tracy, oh, thank heaven you're safe.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Tracy, to the shallow mind,
I know that this looks incriminating,
but in deeper retrospect,
I'm sure you'll understand my worry about you
and why I was rowing for help.
Mm-hmm.
Oh!
and so Barlow and his contacts are all in jail what's gonna happen with the
Costes fortune well it's up for the courts to decide of course but my guess
is Tracy will get it all Tracy yeah old man Cyrus left it to the smartest
cost air right that's a good argument for the smartest cost air wouldn't
come within a thousand miles of the place
Amen, and she got the OSI to have some way to go in there and get it over smart girl not dumb smart girl
Here's to you Brad
You did good
Oscar, they have escaped.
They're sitting down right there behind us.
Uh, Jamie, I, uh...
I forgot to tell you something.
I had to let them go.
Let them go?
Well, you see, the Costares wouldn't testify against each other.
And since they did help capture Barlow...
What? Yes, but...
Pardon.
The gentleman asked if he, on his party, might join you.
No.
No, thank you very much.
You'd think after all we've done for her, she'd let bygones be bygones.
Oh, look at that outfit. Glad she's going back to the sideshow.
Silly girl. She just wants us to coax her into accepting our apology.
Oh, very well. Let's go.
Oscar, they're coming over here.
Those nuts are coming over here to this table anyway.